Oh go on, have a drink, just a wee one.

All the jokes and memes about everyone getting rat arsed every day now we’re stuck inside.

Domestic violence.

Random violence.



Lives ruined.

Lives lost.

Okay, that’s a bit bleak, but, don’t we need to have a word with ourselves when it comes to drink? I have a cabinet full to bursting with alcohol, I think I can handle it, I don’t get violent with a drink in me, I just tend to fall asleep but I’m also a big fatty who tends to eat even more rubbish than normal when I have a drink, soak it up and all that.

But I’ve seen the worst too.

I’ve seen my own late father, a hard man and all round arsehole, who was even more mean with a drink in him, in his early fifties I saw him confront two young men half his age who were hanging around his car, one of them had a go, both of them ended up taking a kicking, I cried, I was given a slap for being such a pansy, I ended up being handy with my hands because of how I was brought up, luckily he’s been dead so long that I’ve learned to control myself, but the drink was always there.

I work in an emergency operating theatre, I’ve seen people who’ve been stabbed, bottled and kicked half to death, ever seen anyone with a metal spike sticking out of their head? let me tell you that the guy who did that wasn’t stoned or had had one too many Marlboro lights.

I’ve read sales of alcohol have risen since the corona virus lockdown, I feel sorry for those living with someone who’s an arsehole with a drink in them, especially if that arsehole starts at 11am because they’ve nothing else to do. I myself haven’t been very well and I’m not much of a drinker anyway but I remember before children came along to ruin everything I would, say over the Christmas holidays, when mates were off too, start drinking just after breakfast, gaming on the xbox for a few hours before crashing out, waking up and gaming and drinking until 3am, nothing else much was happening in my life anyway so why not?

I just wonder if we need to be surrounded by it. Do we? Does pretty much every single shop that sells groceries need to have a third of its store handed over to the drinks giants? Do we need so many pubs? Lots probably won’t re open so I guess we’ll find out, huh?

I think a lot of people have rather rose tinted views of alcohol, the village pub, the swanky cocktail bar or the beautifully stocked whisky bar, but there are a lot of other pubs, pubs with wooden boards where the windows should be and bars over them, places where people go to drown out the noise around them, don’t believe me? Fine I’ll take you out for a pint in some of the pubs near me and it will open your fucking eyes.

These pubs are for keeping people wasted and keeping people poor, skint and oblivious to the world around them, slowly dying, not giving a fuck anyway because their life is shit.

Would society as a whole miss any of these places?

Same with cheap drink, we laugh at the idea of the middle classes bored and watching their lives tick by drinking a bottle of red every night, or we hear of the violence dished out in the towns after heavy drinking, starting the evening at home drinking the cheap frosty jacks, Mad Dog 2020 so they don’t have to spend too much when in the town.

I’ll never really understand our relationship with drink. I used to live in Germany and they could take their kids out at night without bother, they could drink and get hammered and I didn’t see a bit of trouble, not once, not even why I wandered into Kev’s Bar in Frankfurt wearing a Man United top, turns out Kev’s bar is where some Frankfurt casuals drank, could walk the streets in the evening without a care in the world, but then I’d accept Germany is a very different country and it was also years ago, maybe it’s a lunatic asylum there too every Friday and Saturday night, but I doubt it.

One bright spot though is that drink sales are going down among the younger, legal age, drinkers. These people are looking for quality over quantity, maybe they are sick of seeing their town centres turned into Mad Max every weekend or maybe they see that society is just a bit nicer without it?

Ramble over.

The Captain.

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