This is a very strange time indeed, I can’t stop buying alcohol but at the same time can’t be arsed opening or drinking any of it.
I work for the NHS, it doesn’t really matter where or what I do but that’s my “real” job, this is just a hobby, a hobby I’ll be happy to admit I’ve done very well out of but a hobby nonetheless. Anyway, I work for the NHS and I can honestly say I am just shattered with it all, everyone is on edge, all of us, I went to work yesterday at a massive hospital which is almost certainly filling up slowly but surely will seriously ill, infectious, people, and the weight of it all just makes me want to hide under a blanket when I’m not at work, in fact most of the time I’m at work I’d happily hide under a blanket.
Work is a weird place, big hospitals are busy places, even in the evening, even dead at night the place is lit up like a Christmas tree with hundreds of staff and patients coughing and spluttering through their shifts or stays in hospital, but now it’s quiet.
Quiet is a relative term I guess, it’s not that quiet but there are no clinics, a lot less admin staff, very little in the way of elective theatre either so almost nothing is happening, apart from people coming in with Covid19.
Everyone is suspicious of everyone else as well, people trying to keep their distance but how the fuck do you keep your distance when you’re working in a ward or theatre? You can’t, and I’m sure that despite the best efforts of everyone from senior management down, many of us will contract this highly contagious virus.
I’m shitting myself now, if I’m honest, I get public transport to work, every time I cough I get the same fear as everyone else, I know that the majority of people who contract Covid19 will suffer mild to moderate symptoms and then get on with things, but some don’t, maybe I’ll be one of the ones who get really sick, maybe I should just stay at home, I have mild asthma and possibly sleep apnoea (my fucking clinic appointment was cancelled twice), maybe I should just stay at home?
One of things we’re all so confused about is that we work out a strategy to deal with something that was once mundane and obvious but is now something totally different and then someone points something out and the whole idea is scrapped, honestly, I’ve never been so stressed.
I was sitting this morning looking over and sorting out my collection, I’ve sold off a lot recently but I’ve also bought more too, helping out small businesses I use and want to support, and just can’t bring myself to talk about any of it, which is most unlike me, I’m normally boring the tits off anyone who is daft enough to ask me about whisky.
One thing I’m getting sick of is people bigging up NHS staff, saying what heroes we are, it’s an honest and sincere sentiment I’m sure but none of us want your hand clapping or pizzas (that’s a lie, we’ll take the junk food) what we want is for you to remember that when our Unions ask for decent pay rises the right wing press aren’t allowed to smash us into pieces.