I’ll give them their due, they’ve managed to create something so bad I would take Proper Twelve over something, finally.
I have no idea what made them do this, up until recently I had a soft spot for Whyte and MacKay, the standard blend is okay for the money although it’s been left behind by bottom shelf offerings from William Grant’s as well as Lidl and Aldi own brand but the stand out was the 13 Year Old Blend, a wonderful bottle of whisky which has disappeared, no doubt forever and the final fucking insult here is that it appears to have been replaced, silver label and all, with a “light” spirit drink, bottled at 21.5%
The rage inside me was only held at bay because I had absolutely zero intention of ever drinking a light spirit and they are off books anyway because of the dropping of the 13.
And then a neighbour, being kind, bought me a bottle, to say I won’t be collecting their bins for them or salting their path is an understatement.
This is twelve pounds.
I’m only doing this because no doubt out there in the social media outer rims there are bastards promoting this monstrosity. I don’t want any one else to make the mistake my neighbour did.
Nose. This reminds me of asking for a whisky in a pub with a flat roof and dog fighting pit out the back for the kids and being handed a glass of brown liquid, if anything it smells slightly like the smaller of my two sheds which is rotting a bit and my cats sleep in it sometimes when they are in a huff.
Palate. It’s hard to know where to start to with this, hard because it tastes of so very little apart from disappointment, regret and the shame filled tears of whoever put this together. Maybe a bit of wet wood, touch of toffee if I had to be kind.
Finish. I have had longer finishes with a glass of water.
I’m being unkind here because this is awful, it’s pointless and it’s a waste of everyone’s time, people will buy this and mix it with whatever and still be disappointed because it doesn’t even deliver the kick of a cheap blend when mixed and you’d need a bottle of the stuff to get pissed.
It is 100% the most ridiculous thing associated with the whisky industry and that’s saying something these days, my mouth was insulted at drinking this.
Did I mention this was twelve whole pounds of your hard earned money?
This reminds of Jaques Cider from about twenty years ago. It was this horrible overly sweet fruity cider at about 6% and marketed as “The New Wine” as in it was aimed at women who rather than sharing a bottle of chilled Chablis in All Bar One would instead drink cider with fruit and sweetener.
I don’t think anyone over at Wine HQ lost any sleep over it.
I don’t think Jaques is still punting this ridiculous notion or indeed even exists.
My point though is “who is this aimed at?” I mean, I’ve read the blurb, straight, over ice or mixed but no one is buying this to drink it straight or over ice, people might mix it but again why? It’s 21.5% for fuck sake.
People who drink cheap spirits with a mixer are doing it for a reason, to get pissed, which is fair enough, I’m not judging anyone here, but no cunt is swapping their double vodka and coke for this, no cunt.
And no one is swapping their usual mid week sipper poured over an iceberg for this either.
And it will encourage no one to swap from rum, gin, vodka, whatever to a light spirit drink let alone whisky.
I can only assume Whyte and Mackay found thousands of litres of spirit which had dipped below 40% down the back of the couch or maybe someone was pissing on the barrels or something but I genuinely have absolutely no idea what they were thinking.
Don’t buy this, it’s terrible.
This is the same firm who own Jura and Dalmore though so nothing should surprise me.
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