Collecting dust.

Some people might think I have a collection, I don’t, I have a couple of bottles I’m keeping for later and a dozen or so bottles I’m slowly drinking my way through some more expensive than others.

For me a collection is a cabinet or store or bunker or whatever full of whisky some of which will never be opened and that for me is a tragedy.

I’ve tasted Port Ellen and once owned a bottle of Rosebank but I’ll never own a bottle of either again but those bottles which do exist still on collectors shelves never to be opened and I just don’t see the point.

Whisky is not art, you can look at it for hours pouring over the fine detail of the work, you can’t stare into the mind of the artist who created it, it’s a bottle of liquid to be opened and poured and shared not gather dust forever on a shelf to show how awesome the owner is.

Dalmore, Highland Park, whoever else take your pick, might as well put tea or pee in their lovely ornate crystal bottles because no one will ever open them and of course the longer the bottles remain sealed the less likely they are to ever be drank, why waste all that time and expertise making beautiful whisky for nothing?

I once, when drunk, paid an obscene amount of money for a double of one of these rare old whiskies, I paid for it, got it to the table and then realised what I’d done and took it home, I covered the glass in clingfilm I begged from the kitchen, stole the glass, after paying what I paid for a drink they didn’t seem to mind, and took it home. When I got home I decanted it into a wee bottle I had and a week later I devoured it. It was amazing, it was as close to a religious experience as I’ll ever get, it was perfect apart from the fact it cost me half a weeks wages and a bottle of the stuff would stiff me out of a months pay, and I earn alright by the way, and it dawned on me that really when all said and done it really wasn’t worth what I’d paid and never could be unless you believe that anything is worth what someone is willing to pay then fair enough.

Whisky is a beautiful thing but I would love to see the day that whisky is not used as a commodity or stuck on a shelve forever, maybe then I’ll be able to finally taste Odin.

The Captain.